Read my Blarg!

My Very First Hate Mail!

2011-01-04T18:04:00.002+05:30

Huzzah! I have finally made it!

Just 1 hour and 55 minutes into the new year, somebody hated me enough to respond to a blog post from almost THREE YEARS AGO, and I got my very first hate mail on Read my Blarg!

Anonymous said...

munisandwich: i actually know adam brookes personally and let me tell ya that he is not a jackass. If there is a jackass here, it is most certainly you.

January 1, 2011 1:55 AM

Click here to read!

HAPPY MUUU NIR!

2011-01-04T17:56:00.002+05:30

The best New Year's present ever.

Me: (watching TV).
Dad: Oh, isn't that the show with the talking car?
Me: No.
Dad: Isn't that Hassle... Hassle... HASSELDORF!
Me: .

WE CAN NEVER COME HERE AGAIN!

2010-12-30T14:16:00.002+05:30

Just blasted my first toilet. Thought you should know.

That is all.

Well Hello! And Welcome to My Blarg!

2010-12-29T04:50:00.007+05:30

For those of you jabroneys keeping track, it has been years since my last post.

This could be because blogging about my life is pretentious, or it could be that I'm really just that lazy. Nonetheless, here are a few short words about my 2010 trip to India... with. my. parents.

Item #1- My mom "forgot" that her carry on bag needed to go through the x-ray machine and she tried to walk through the metal detectors with said bag.

Item #2- My mom made a "bomb squad" reference within earshot of oh, a dozen people.

Item #3- My mom called me a putz within earshot of oh, the same dozen people.

Item #4- My mom doesn't know what putz means and asked me what it meant.

Item #5- I am drinking.

That is all.

its a KATT

2009-05-05T10:25:00.001+05:30

SJ is so excited.

Trying, and FAILING at blogging SJ's Butt

2009-05-05T10:10:00.000+05:30

There are no words.

Its ALIVE!

2009-05-05T10:07:00.001+05:30

I'm back bitches!

Look at this picture of me skyping SJ.

LOOK AT IT!

I am clearly making a business phone call.

How to Post a Comment

2009-02-11T17:28:00.002+05:30

Hello!

I've received a few requests about how to post a comment without signing up for anything.

Here goes: You can post as "anonymous".. but remember to sign your name.

Post away!

Bye!

Happy Birthday Moon!

2009-02-11T10:05:00.001+05:30

Sadly, I didn't have a top hat to put on the branch!

Brain... it's what's for dinner!

2009-02-11T09:39:00.005+05:30

It's called Beja Fry, and is essentially brain curry, ususally from a goat. I also ate goat liver, and trotters, which I (smartly) declined knowing the actual name for.

Cafe Ideal at Chowpatty Beach

2009-02-09T14:30:00.004+05:30

Relaxing with cold adult beverage at Cafe Ideal on Marine Drive.

Navaz got a Bacardi Breezer because we dared her to.

Hanging Gardens (cont'd)

2009-02-09T14:17:00.003+05:30

Swaroop, Navaz, Abbi and me at the gardens.

No joke, there was a guy there with his whole family who took one look at Abbi's tat sleeves... and his pants fell down and his family laughed at him.

I enjoy how embarassment, like love, is a universal language.

Hanging Gardens

2009-02-09T14:01:00.002+05:30

The Rovers!

2009-02-09T13:57:00.002+05:30

My dad with all his scouting buddies.

Fish Market!

2009-02-09T13:43:00.001+05:30

Under the Nerul Bridge

2009-02-09T13:17:00.000+05:30

Lunch at Amigo's

2009-02-09T11:36:00.003+05:30

The best meal we ate in Goa was at Amigo's. It's under the bridge that Matt Damon drove off of in The Bourne Supremacy.

Slumdog Protest

2009-02-09T11:32:00.004+05:30

This was handed out at the INOX movie theater by protesters in Goa.

St. Xavier's Cathedral, or 'Tastes like chicken!'

2009-02-09T11:22:00.003+05:30

The story goes that St. Xavier's remains used to be on tour all over India, until a woman jumped on the casket and bit off his thumb. It was recovered, St. Xavier was boxed and shelved permanently, and the thumb is now touring as a solo act.

Shut the effing gate!

2009-02-09T11:17:00.002+05:30

Baga Beach

2009-02-09T11:11:00.003+05:30

I've got a fever... and the only cure is more elephant!

2009-02-09T11:05:00.003+05:30

Anjuna Beach

2009-02-09T10:48:00.003+05:30

View from the road.

Mooooove.

Stoned girl dancing on the beach.

I had a reservation.

As Promised: Goa Pix!

2009-02-07T02:11:00.002+05:30

I love Kachra!

2009-02-07T01:35:00.002+05:30

India's new anti-litter campaign is brilliant.

FLENN!

2009-02-07T01:33:00.001+05:30

This is for you.

Beggars at Haji Ali, Part 3

2009-02-07T01:24:00.001+05:30

Last one I promise! Most of these pix are covert, as they demand money if you take their pix. This first one I had to pay 50 rupees for.

Guess what he's smokinnggggg!!??

2009-02-07T01:20:00.002+05:30

Beggars at Haji Ali, Part 2

2009-02-07T01:15:00.002+05:30

Beggars at Haji Ali, Part 1

2009-02-07T01:06:00.000+05:30

Flenn?? Peric?? This one's for you.

2009-02-06T02:05:00.003+05:30

Cat on a hot tin roof... pooping.

Haji Ali Mosque

2009-02-06T01:40:00.002+05:30

Read all about it here.

It was built in 1431 on a small island in the Worli bay. There is a causeway to walk to it, but you can only go at low tide.

Dhobi!

2009-02-06T01:27:00.003+05:30

This is where the dhobis (washermen) wash clothes. It's an industry here. They wash everything by beating the clothes against a rock. Say what you will, but there are no longer any pit stains on my t-shirts. Awesome!

Navaz, Abbi and Swaroop

2009-02-06T01:18:00.005+05:30

Ok i'm going to try to explain as briefly as possible.

Navaz is the daughter of my Dad's best friend Sam. He was the best man at Sam's wedding. Abbi is her best friend. Swaroop is a local Mumbai artist that is now our friend. I purchased several of his paintings and they effing rock (pictures to follow).

We met up yesterday to explore! Hilarity (and drinking) ensued.

Enjoy.

P.S. It helps to imagine all of this happening to a classic Herb Alpert tune.

Sunset from Sagar Sangeet

2009-02-06T01:13:00.003+05:30

The view from the living room at my aunt and uncle's Kolaba apt.

Stunning.

Aaaaannnd we're back!

2009-02-06T00:50:00.004+05:30

Hellooo!! Didja miss me?

Sorry I've been away.. it took me a while to come down off the high... and I got lazy. But with renewed vigor, here we go.

I went into SoBo with Sheila Aunty to go shopping at Cotton World and Tantra, but we also stopped and ate lunch at Leopold's.

Leopold's is one of Mumbai's oldest and most popular restaurants. On November 26, 2008, ten people (eight customers and two staff members) were shot and killed in the terrorist attacks. They reopened five days later.

The first pic is a painting memorializing the events of that day.

I have died and gone to goa.

2009-01-24T00:03:00.003+05:30

This place is outstanding.

Photos coming soon.

Truly Scrumptious

2009-01-22T12:18:00.001+05:30

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is on! It's like TataSky is reading my mind!

Bonobo - a haiku

2009-01-22T11:38:00.002+05:30

Drank at Bonobo.
My liver is jumping ship.
Jager bombs for all!

I changed the channel to CNN.

2009-01-20T20:08:00.001+05:30

Seriously BBC, WTF?

2009-01-20T19:43:00.003+05:30

CLIVE! "A see of black faces... and obviously, white ones too??"

What are you doing, man?

Adam Brookes is the most inadvertantly racist BBC correspondent ever.

2009-01-20T19:26:00.005+05:30

Listening to this idiot blathering on and on about the pre-inaugural activities on BBC World took a turn for the worse when he stumbled across the meaning of CPT. Loosely quoted: "Perhaps Mr. Obama tends to run 10 to 15 minutes behind schedule because he is a... democrat." Nice save, jackass.

Next up: Will Obama's children cultivate a black-only network of friends?

What the hell kind of reporting is this?

Way to fumble, BBC.

OOOOBAMANOS!!!!

2009-01-20T18:33:00.002+05:30

Hooray!

McNabb Yourself a Suckwich.

2009-01-19T19:59:00.001+05:30

SHAAAASHMORT!!!

Street Pix fix.

2009-01-18T20:23:00.004+05:30

Photo of a moth in our elevator.. I adjusted the levels and this happened.

I took this as I was walking.. turned out pretty good.

This house is haunted.

2009-01-18T20:19:00.002+05:30

I wonder if the ghosts realize they have prime ocean-front property.

I got a fever.. and the only cure is more sunset.

2009-01-18T20:12:00.002+05:30

That aura around the sun is not only beautiful, it's pollution!

Someone in Bandra has an editorial sense of humor.

2009-01-18T20:09:00.002+05:30

Indian Sunset... in a graveyard!

2009-01-18T19:48:00.003+05:30

Bori Thal at Wodehouse Gymkhana

2009-01-17T19:45:00.004+05:30

The fam and I went out for a 5 course traditional meal at the clubhouse.

-Dessert #1
-A WHOLE fried chicken
-Lamb shank
-Mutton biryani
-Dessert #2

Drinks were had,hilarity ensued.

My cousin Shabs and her new hubby Ashish.

Hooray! I fixed the comments blunder..

2009-01-17T11:57:00.002+05:30

Feel free to write shit about my shit!

word.

In the taxi from Churchgate to Kolaba

2009-01-14T17:07:00.003+05:30

Self Portrait

Rajah Bhai Clock Tower

Taxi Jam: This is from my taxi window, through another, and into a third.

Shhh.. he's sleeeeeeping.

2009-01-14T16:59:00.004+05:30

I snapped this as we passed a station. I love how his shoes are so neatly placed in front of him.

The High Noon Train to Churchgate (Woo Woo!)

2009-01-14T16:30:00.004+05:30

Took the train into Mumbai again.. this time I managed to avoid being harassed and/or entering the ladies' compartment.

I took this picture because I wanted to look cool. I later found out that hanging out the train is extremely dangerous because you can either fall out and be run over by a passing train and die a horrible painful death... or worse, have your eye poked out by a rock thrown by street kids. I guess it's a game they play- 'maim the commuter' or some such nonsense.

I miss the NYC subways, where the most dangerous thing that happens is eye contact, or the occasional blind grope.

Leila Auntie

2009-01-14T16:09:00.004+05:30

This is my Leila Auntie. She owns and operates a designer shalwar shop in Bandra.

This is her dog Dizzy- who (A) wouldn't stay still for a photo and (B) threw up on the floor right after this picture was taken.

It's nice to know that my Dr. Doolittle powers extend beyone US Borders isn't it Pauline/Laura?? HMM???

I wish I was Blind, so I didn't have to see BLINDNESS.

2009-01-13T20:51:00.002+05:30

My cousin Oriana is never allowed to pick the movie EVER AGAIN.

If I have to watch Julianne Moore's overwrought crying in another movie, I'll poke my own eyes out.

This movie shat the bed. Save your money and go rent Wall E or read a book.

ugh.

More Rikshaw Cam

2009-01-12T17:53:00.003+05:30

Please note dude in the red shirt's ANTM pose (for Andyb).

Rikshaw Cam

2009-01-12T17:35:00.004+05:30

Took some photos in the rikshaw on the way home. Also got a little queasy.

Street Pix: Vol. 1

2009-01-12T17:18:00.003+05:30

Went shopping-wopping today for some chuppals and new warm-weather threads that fit. Sigh. I'm still fat.

I took these photos while wandering around in the twisty alleys and back streets of Bandra.

The colors here are outstanding.

Ghajini

2009-01-12T17:00:00.005+05:30

This shit was redic... it's already pulled in 200 crore (2 billion rupees or just under $41 million USD) at the box office.

Fire up your Netflix and rent this Memento/Amelie inspired (read ripoff) Bollywood hit.

Do it YAAR!

PS If you haven't yet.. go see Slumdog Millionaire. I think it just won best picture at the Golden Globes.

Street Dogs of Mumbai 2009 Calendar- Introducing Mr. January... Chukrum!

2009-01-12T16:51:00.005+05:30

Chuckrum is a lazy dog. He likes to sleep... in the middle of the driveway!
He'll get plenty of sleep when India starts euthanizing their stray dogs!

Downer.

Worli Flyover!

2009-01-12T16:38:00.003+05:30

Hi everyone.. I finally got my camera up and running.

Enjoy these pix from The Bandra Bandstand.

The first is a picture of the yet-to-be completed Bandra-Worli Sea-Link.

Next up: spooky ghost pirate ship. (This one's for Flenn.)

Fishermen's Village

2009-01-12T16:25:00.006+05:30

These are pictures of the fisherman's village where the terrorists snuck into Mumbai... creepy, yet beautiful.

Speaking of Butts...

2009-01-09T09:14:00.001+05:30

My cousin's butt is famous.

The train boss, the TRAIN!

2009-01-09T08:38:00.003+05:30

So yesterday I took the train from Bandra Station to Churchgate to visit my family that lives in Kolaba. What resulted was a comedy of errors- in two acts.

Act 1: That's right, I'm that hot. I totally got felt up/accosted by some strange dude who seemed way too interested in my transaction at the train station ticket window. I figured it's crowded in Mumbai so I guess people are used to not having personal space. While this may be true, there is still no reason for you to touch my butt.

Act 2: Oh, the Shame.
One one-way first class ticket on Western Railways: 52 rupees.
One bottle of Limca: 15 rupees.
Accidentally boarding the 'ladies only' train car and getting yelled at by an old lady: priceless.

You're going to feel that tomorrow.

2009-01-09T08:15:00.003+05:30

So I went ahead and joined a gym. I suppose this is the direct result of three consecutive "Wow you've put on weight!" comments.

I joined Gold's Gym in Bandra. My Trainer's name is Hamesh and he completely kicked my ass today. No Bipasha Basu (look it up, gents) sightings yet, but I may have some competition, ugh, (you're welcome, ladies).

Rumor has it, once you get a six-pack, you get your first movie. When you get an eight-pack, you get Bipasha.

Uh, oh.

2009-01-09T08:07:00.002+05:30

So it's being announced today that India is almost out of gas.

I, on the other hand, am operating at full capacity (AF whut?)

Hey America!: Pay attention... this is going to suck.

Smells Like Teen Curry

2009-01-07T04:57:00.004+05:30

I just got to my dad's in Mumbai.

It's 4:30 am.

Delayed flight + screaming devil children + seatmate with a weak bladder = Cranky Muni

Lies!

2009-01-06T10:58:00.002+05:30

They just wanted to close down that part of the terminal. Yes folks, I have been duped.

BLARGABLARGABLARG!!

2009-01-06T10:23:00.001+05:30

Eff nuggets!! I gotta go board the plane.. See you in India!!

Sarah-Jayne and Kriston wanted to share this.. They've been keeping me company via skype video while drinking wine and watching Poseidon. I am drinking water and watching hours of my life go by.

Boo.

2009-01-06T08:48:00.000+05:30

I just got booted from the Oasis Lounge, which I talked my way into.

Now all I have is my vitamin water, Sarah-Jayne's pithy facebook messages, and my utter annoyance to keep me warm.

It's amazing to me that with 4 billion years of evolutionary progress (or 6,000 years of divine creation, if you swing that way) in my back pocket, it still takes 1 hour and 39 minutes of standing aimlessly in a queue to check into a flight that is delayed by four hours and a $15 food voucher is supposed to make me happy .

I wish I had a point, but instead I have a middle seat.

Sigh.

Eff Sandwich w/ a side of BLARG!

2009-01-06T08:31:00.001+05:30

So my flight to India has been delayed... by FOUR HOURS!

Sucks out loud.

Red Stripe is my only friend.